Monday, December 28, 2009

"Reply to the Ambitious Woman"

Thank you all for the responses to my "Do You Really Want an Ambitious Man?" blog. To really understand this blog, you must have read the previous one. A lot of women responded to my inbox saying, "Yeah, but Can a Man Handle an Ambitious Woman (AW)?" I personally am very attracted to an AW; because that means she has goals and does not want to settle for a mediocre life. Also, I've always made it my endeavor to support anyone who is trying to follow their dreams; whether you're a sing, actor, furthering your education, or have interest in owning your own business. It speaks volumes when I see a lady in a business suit and heels from time to time. I think it's kind of sexy. LOL. It tells me she's business-minded, professional, and on a mission. 

I'm speaking on behalf of myself and a lot of guys who wanted remain anonymous. Here's the deal with being in a relationship when the woman is more ambitious than the man. I thought to myself: Who are the two most ambitious and powerful black women in the world? I came up with Oprah Winfrey and Condoleezza Rice. I love me some Oprah and she's one of my top 5 most inspirational people in the world and she's a native of Mississippi. Also, I would never say anything negative about Oprah. I'm stressing this disclaimer because I know Oprah has the power to shut my lil comedy career down. LOL! The fact remains that she and Condi are both SINGLE. When I say single, I mean not married.  Maybe they don't want to be married. I'm not sure why, but I do know their power may intimidate some men. I'm not one of them, but some men have an issue dealing with a woman making more money than them. Think about it! Oprah is the richest black woman in the world. She's a self-made billionaire! Let's throw a hypothetical scenario out there. Let's say Oprah was interested in buying an island in the Caribbean. Then Stedman says, "Baby I don't think this will be a good investment for you." She'll probably listen to his reasoning in the beginning. On the other hand, if she really wants that island, Sted-Muffin can go to hell with his reasoning.  Why? Because she's a self-made billionaire who has been independent for a very long time. How does she look like asking his permission to buy an island if she really wanted it? 

Moving on to Ms. Condoleezza Rice, the former National Security Advisor and Secretary of State for The United States of America. Let's throw another hypothetical scenario out there. So we'll say she's married. Her husband suggests that Condi shouldn't purchase those $2000 Christian Louboutin shoes. I can hear Condi now, "Look fool, I had the power to stop and start wars and now you want to tell me I can't buy some shoes?!"  "You better get a life negro!" LOL. I know what you're thinking. If I'm a millionaire, what do I look like asking my husband can I buy some $2K shoes. Like I said, it was just an example. Now, I don't know these ladies personal business, I only used them as examples as well. Once again--I LOVE YOU OPRAH.  I do not want to end up telling jokes at the gas station. LOL! 


Here's my point. Some guys have to be the bread winner of their household. Unless he's an ambitious man himself, the power ratio is at an offset in his eyes. It's in a man's nature to want to be the sole provider for his family. From a religious stand point, a man should be the leader of his household. I'm not saying whatever he says goes, but you should at least allow him 60% of the decision making.  You shouldn't get involved with a man who you don't trust to lead you and your family; especially if he can't be the spiritual leader. There are also some needy men out there as well. I feel like if a man says that he accepts the fact that his lady has a grind, he has to understand that she's not going to be available all the time. I have two friends who enlightened me on the Needy Man Factor. LOL. Check out their stories:

"I once met this guy around the holiday season. He wanted to take me out, but he never planned in advance. He always called at the last minute. I made it very clear to him that I am a baker/personal chef and the holiday seasons are usually busy for me. I guess after being told no too many times, due to his lack of planning...He told me, "There is no way I was cooking that damn much!"  He assumed I was brushing him off, but that was far from the truth. I told him since he felt that way, he could go to...(well you know where)  :-)  I would have gone out with him if he had made plans and not always waited until the last minute. He showed a lack of respect for me and my business."
~ Anita Benton
Desserts Etc.

 "I've met a few men who say that's what they want, but then when I mention the things I have going on, they're like 'Oh, you don't have time for me." My thing is... I make time for what I want to make time for. A man can't make a statement like that when we initially meet. A.) You don't know that. B.) You just met me. " 
~Theresa Kennedy
Red August Shoes

They went on to tell me this had happened with other guys in the past as well. I also know a lot of female comics-- "comediennes" --who have also conveyed their experience with dating guys who don’t understand their passion and dreams.  Once again, BALANCE is the key to any relationship. There are marriages that have sustained the test of time with the woman being the more ambitious of the two. I watched BET Honors and noted that B. Smith was selected as a guest of honor. Mrs. Smith is a successful entrepreneur with her own chain of restaurants and a TV show. I've provided a link to her acceptance speech and website below. Anyway, within her speech she spoke several times about her husband, Dan, who never wavered in his support for her over the years. So, this proves there are men who can stand by an ambitious woman. I'm sure there are many other couples that I could use for examples. I'm sure she presented her goals and ambition to Dan and he obviously believed in her and vowed to be supportive.  I doubt she rolled up on him and said, " Hey boo, I got some ideas to make us some cheese! You can either roll with me or I'll holla!" LOL.


So, I salute the AW. I guess my question now is: Will the AW allow her man to be the leader of the family? Or will she constantly remind her man of who makes the money and that her dreams bought the house, car, and the dog. I have two songs to go with the blog, Anthony Hamilton's "The Truth" and Goapale's "Closer to My Dreams" for the AW. You gotta listen to the words though. I know I'm about to catch it for all the men in the world :-), but please leave your comments below the videos. Also, click on the share button below for your friends to check out the blog.

Thanks for reading;

Comedian Marion Kendrick

B. Smith Acceptance Speech and Website

Anthony Hamilton - The Truth

Goapale - Closer to My Dreams

Friday, June 12, 2009

Do You Really Want an Ambitious Man?,Marion Kendrick,comedian

First, I would like to congratulate Barack Obama for becoming the first black President of the United States of America. It has always been said that behind every successful man is a strong woman. I believe this to be true in a lot of cases. President Obama has Michelle just as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., had Coretta. Where am I going with this? I hear a lot of women say they want a successful man, but are they willing to be patient and sacrifice time away from him to build his family’s future and to become successful.

Every successful man or woman started with a vision. A person’s vision can be described as his or her goals, dreams, or aspirations. Prior to engaging in a committed relationship you should get an understanding of your mates’ goals in life as well as their vision. Coretta understood and saw Dr. King’s dream and vision. With that understanding she knew it would take countless hours writing speeches, organizing, and participating in demonstrations; while still being the leader of his congregation. Basically, she stood by his side and sacrificed a lot of time to help him change a nation and inspire generations of people after him. I’m quite sure there were difficult times within their marriage, but it lasted until his demise. For some reason, I just can’t imagine Coretta yelling, “Martin, How may times you plan on marching this month?” Every time I turn around you got to be somewhere marching Martin!” “What about me and the kids Martin?” Just think, if she didn’t encourage and sacrifice that time to support Dr. King’s vision, we may not have our 44th President of the United States of America, Barack Obama.

First Lady, Michelle Obama is another example of a lady who understood her man’s vision and supported him. Prior to this historic election; ladies imagine your black husband saying to you, “Honey, I want to be the president of the U.S.A.!” Some of you would have discouragingly and sarcastically said, “Really Barack, Really?!” “Why not turn water to wine while you’re at it!”

Now I ‘m clueless to every detail of running a campaign, but I’m sure it requires a lot of time. President Obama had to spend a lot of days away from his wife and family to become who he is today. Michelle never led him to believe his dream could not be achieved, but she stood by her man and supported him every step of the way. Not once did she say, “Barack how many times you plan to go to Iowa? Didn’t you campaign in Iowa last month?” Mrs. Obama’s diligence and support has allowed her to enjoy the fruits of her husband’s labor and now she sits on the throne as First Lady of our country. This illustrates one supportive woman who believed in her husband’s dream, which inspired another man’s dream whom both have inspired the world.

The point of this blog is not to say; if you let your man spend time away from home he’ll become successful. Balance is the key in any relationship. It’s to make people more conscious of what it really means to supports their mates vision. If you’re someone who needs an excessive amount of time and attention from your mate, then you may not be compatible with a highly ambitious person. There are some people who will only want to live mediocre lives and there are others who will go above and beyond. It’s up to you to decide what you want to in a relationship with someone who wants to go above and beyond. There's nothing wrong with mediocrity, but you must except the person you chose. One should not get involved with someone if you are not interested in supporting his or her goals and aspirations. A successful athlete has a lot of practice, training, and away games. A successful pastor must tend to all the needs of the church and its people. A successful entrepreneur must create business strategies, solicit clients, and network. Last, but not least; a successful COMEDIAN has to write jokes, rehearse jokes, and go the comedy club whether he performs or not for networking purposes. I once dated a young lady who said, “It's not that much comedy to do in the world!” Needless to say; we don’t date anymore. What's the point if your plans are to disrupt my vision? I already know the consequences of being involved with someone who felt neglected because I was GRINDING. Fabolous has song titled Make Me Better. The chorus says “I’m a movement by myself, but I’m a force when we’re together.” He's basically saying he's already on the path to making it happen and you can be that one piece to help him make it there. Inspire and support your mate so that you both can enjoy the success. Make sure you check out my next blog. I'm still trying to decide on the title. It may be "No One is Thrilled by the Chase" or "Sorry, I Don't Want What I Can't Have." Either way you get it.

In closing, if you really want to know what a man on a mission would like from his lady, I encourage you to listen to WORDS of the songs below by Raheem Devaughn -Mo' Better, John Legend- Live It Up, Calvin Richardson- More Than a Woman, and Fabolous- Make Me Better. Click on the link that says, "Play full song here". Please post your comments. Click on comments below the last music box. Thanks!!!

Comedian Marion Kendrick

Raheem Devaughn - Mo' Better

John Legend - Live It Up

Calvin Richardson - More Than a Woman

Fabolous - Make Me Better